28: Kafue – The Book of Gideon (The Heart)

Blinkers were stripped from his mind and eyes. He saw her in a completely different light. Everything about her was beautiful.

He had fallen in love and it was strange to him.

It felt so utterly good.

It all manifested itself as they sat at the fire. That first time when he realized there was something different she wanted, With their feet resting on a big log as a foot rest, they had spoken and laughed.

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Chapter 28:       The Heart

Moses hadn’t ever felt such unfamiliar feelings.

He had spent his life dealing with men, and their sometimes violent affairs. He had also dedicated most of his life indirectly dealing with Godly issues as pertaining to men. It was why he had spent his life as a private military contractor fighting, even killing men to preserve God’s way. He was a God-fearing man. He had been raised to be one. He saw the righteousness of it. He had been witness to the goodness of such men as father Xavier who had mentored him. Such men had not spent much time dealing with the affairs of women, definitely not in the space reserved for women in mens hearts.

Yes he had married early, barely passed his teens. It had been arranged. But, with his choosing to fight against those who opposed the way of God he had spent little time at home. The struggles had been far away in Angola, Sierra Leone and now Nigeria, fighting the Anti-Christ . As such he never really got to know even his wife with her womanly ways, before malaria took her away, with all the sadness that goes with death and a daughter barely walking and a son still crawling towards his future. Luckily there had been grandparents to raise the children he barely knew. At least the pay in his unusual career had been very good, and the grandparents and his children benefitted from that abundance.

Now he was discovering how that space in his heart, a wasteland for so long, was being flooded to overflowing. How that overflow was affecting every facet of his life, with the strange elation of it.

Before, he had always been driven to impress and prove himself to men. It had been in ways of strength, fortitude, resolve, courage or determination. Never had he sought the approval of a woman. So where did his compulsion to find favor in this woman’s eyes come from. Suddenly the approval of men was nothing compared to that of this girl. Her shy smile indicating her interest in him. His pleasure at impressing her. At bringing her little gifts. A string of lucky beans, a bouquet of flame lilies.

Her response brought so much joy. Her glow didn’t even need gifts to be kindled. Like hers to him, his presence to her seemed to bring her joy and happiness. Its sufficiency was triggered in the small things he said to her, the little favors he performed for her. Inviting her out to show her insignificant, maybe even hidden things. To track a tortoise, show her an ant colony on the March, find her her namesake, the beauty of a Narina Trojan perched in a thicket. Sometimes it was a focus on the flowers of the Bush, where he had picked the flame lillies. Maybe it was a walk in search of some of the small five, the ant lion, the elephant shrew, leopard tortoise, rhinoceros beetle and buffalo weaver.

How was it that after tracking the mystery man all day, when otherwise he would be filled with tiredness, now his gait increased its urgency as he returned. Now, He was effused with pleasure knowing that each time, before sunset she would appear. All evening they would sit side-by-side on the sandbar at the edge of the river with the fire at their feet, listening to the snort of the hippos, as they talked about the trivialities of life.

He would tell her his stories, of Angola and Nigeria and of Africa. He would even tell her snippets of some of the darker dealings. He went so far as to show her where he was wounded on two different occasions., pulling up his shirt to reveal the scars on his belly and his back.

This happiness with her was something completely new.

It had arrived suddenly, surprisingly as he watched her approach one evening. He couldn’t remember, was it the second or third time she visited his campsite? It flooded forth one evening as she approached. With hips like bells, and the sensuous catlike way she walked causing her long black hair to sway behind her neck, so that it brushed her shoulders above the tightness of her tank top. It opened the gates to his heart.

It manifested itself as an awareness of her being, maybe because he realized her appearances meant she was interested in him as a man, not as an ntertaining guide.

Blinkers were stripped from his mind and eyes. He saw her in a completely different light. Everything about her was beautiful.

He had fallen in love and it was strange to him.

It felt so utterly good.

It all manifested itself as they sat at the fire. That first time when he realized there was something different she wanted, With their feet resting on a big log as a foot rest, they had spoken and laughed.

He had seen how her one foot slowly inch closer, until her toes touched his. He hadn’t drawn his foot away, and she had not moved hers. Her touch was deliberate.

The flare in his heart had been immeasurably more intense than the flames of the fire they were staring at.

(Added 03/07/2021)